That I Would Be Good
by Chelsea Oz
Summary: Okay, this is essentially "Goodnight, My Angel" revamped. If you were a fan of that one shot, than you will love this one shot. Still tells the story of Mike and Bobby's despair but this also brings Greg and Pete's road to healing all in the same night. Warning: you may need tissues!


The sound of my baby son woke me up. He was not even two years old yet and he still was waking up screaming. I had to go get him because Alice has already gone home for the night and my wife had just passed away a few days ago. Nights are the worst as I've come to realize. I am here all alone with my three boys that are as broken as I am. Just because we are in mourning doesn't mean that I get a time out from being dad. I pick up my pieces as I should and go to my son.

I enter his room and flip on the switch. He was standing up in his crib with his arms stretching out for me. It was a hot night in July so he was wearing nothing but a diaper. His red hair was all wild from rolling around in his sleep. Tears like raindrops soaked his angelic face. It breaks my heart even more to see my son like this.

"Come here, honey," I say picking him up out of his crib and giving him a hug.

"Mama! Mama!"

"No, Bob, Dada," calling myself by the name he calls me. It doesn't do any good, he wails even more. I know that's not what he wants to hear and I know I'm not the parent he wants. I can't help but cry with him, I miss his mama and I want her, too. I go over to the rocking chair and have a seat with Bobby still attached to me. I began to wonder how many more nights were going to be like this. I prayed not many because it was already killing me.

"Dada loves you, Bob," I say giving him a kiss on his wet cheek. My poor baby was still crying.

"I know you want your mother. You'll understand later why she isn't here. But listen to me, she loves you. I love you. Alice loves you. Your brothers love you. Maybe someday there will be another woman who can love you as much as your mama did. But like I said, a lot of people already love you and don't you worry. You will be taken care of. I'll make sure of that."

He stopped crying and stared at me. It was a relief to know that I had broken through to him and made him calm down. I didn't want this agony for him or for Greg and Pete. I was praying they were both sleeping soundly because I was overwhelmed with exhaustion and despair myself.

"Are you okay?" I ask my son.

"Okay," he says pointing back to his crib. Thanks for the sign, son. I walk him over to lie down again with his arms still wrapped around my neck. He lays down and shuts his eyes as soon as he gets in. I give him another kiss before I leave the room.

"I love you," I say stroking his hair.

"I love you," he says back to me in his sweet, little voice. I stay that way until I know for sure he is safe in dreamland. When it was all clear, I wiped my eyes and started back into my own room. My heart sank as I went passed Greg and Pete's room. I realized they were up due to the fact they were talking to each other. I sighed heavily and I leaned by the door to hear what they were saying. I hold back my breath and more tears as I realize they are not talking to each other but to their mother.

"Mom," I heard Greg say. "This is Greg."

"Mom," Pete said right after. "This is Peter."

"We miss you a lot right now..."

"We love you a lot forever, though."

"Yeah, what he said," Greg scuffed. I had to stop myself from laughing for a minute. It felt good to want to laugh.

"Anyways," Greg continued. "You always said you would be here for us if we ever needed anything. Well, we kind of need you right now. Are you up there? Can you hear us?"

"I think she is, Greg."

"Well, I guess if Pete thinks you are, than you must be. Anyway, I just needed you to know that we still think of you. You always said that you wanted us to be good boys so I need to just let you know that I would be good."

"Me too, mom. I'll be good, too."

"I hope that makes you happy, mom. We love you. Goodnight."

"Love you. Goodnight."

A rush of hope filled up my body. I felt happiness and relief that my two oldest boys at least were in the process of healing. Knowing that they knew their mother was watching over them and they still wanted to be good for her left me overwhelmed with pride. I walk back into my bedroom and lie down on my bed. For the first time in a while, I can close my eyes with happy thoughts thanks to my good boys.


End file.
